Kilt, Sherwani, Kimono

[Martin]

I chortle, too, when I see myself sitting on my ass and actually having a hand in planning my wedding. But you know, the creativity is here now and I like using it. I have a long, satisfying dig coming up in a few scant weeks and that'll occupy me plenty. Thing is, we've got 20 months and I may as well invest some time and energy now.


I worked out my finances for this month and find ways to feel accomplished every day, so why the hell not. I realized something important. Marrying this awesome woman is reason enough to be excited, but the reason I enjoy doing this is what I can learn about everything that planning a wedding entails: computer skills in need of a polish, ceramics, titanium grading, viola compositions, ethnic clothing types, textile traditions, local ingredients and so on. There's plenty to turn your mind towards, explore and pursue.


What I like about this in turn is that it reflects all the ways my guests have taught me, in their different ways, to see beneath the surface and get to the root of things. I want them to feel wholly comfortable in the setting because they can see themselves in the both the broad strokes and the details. For once, on this single occasion, are they all coming together. They should walk away as friends long in the making and they should see us anew.


In short, we're showing these people how we see the world because of them. How they are the lifeblood that our being Offbeat has drawn on. And in planning, envisioning this, I realize how cool it is to get a really good picture of how far your interests can go, how you want to encapsulate this finality of commitment and new personal growth. Taking a good look at yourself and checking out all the different streams of influence that have guided you here. What do they look like? How could you not be proud of them? It's good to make your voice heard.


By making your own choices you are presenting an honesty which is genuine and unmistakable. It is this honesty that connects you to your audience rather than alienating you. Just not giving a shit on the grooms part is very visible and to my mind few things could be more degrading than that coming through at a wedding for lack of involvement or choice.


That's why I'm an Offbeat Groom. I don't want my choices, my honesty or my moments with the people I love most dictated. Fuck that.

[Martin]

Honestly, histrionics like that just sell themselves as blatant cases of unrequited attention. I know man, I've heard of instances as horrific as the recent FISA bill. All those bits really add up, and it sucks to have to keep a tally to forestall unpleasant, distracting and discouraging words.
Even if something seems trivial, I say this is all the more reason to make informed and confident choices. Using your imagination shouldn't be a chore, you know? Really, anybody involved should understand that.

I take it your MoB has a few niggling opinions, then? Anything we might try to help you with?

[Tom]

it does rob you. I love the way you put it. Bit by bit, buck by buck. The goddamned wedding industrial complex. Which manifests in mysterious ways. That's the thing about it0 that her and there, it's insinuated, internalized, into this person or that person and all of a sudden oyu find yourself having to agree with it. Such as the mother of the bride. Sigh.